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Moving on After an Abusive Relationship: Living Life Without Your Abuser

Once you've been in an abusive relationship, whether it be physical or emotional abuseyou may have a very difficult time moving on and getting past it. When you finally have gotten the courage to leave your abusive relationship, moving on with life can be very challenging. If you are having a hard time moving on with your life after being in an abusive relationship, here are things you can do to make life easier on yourself.

Be proud. First off, you need to understand how much strength and courage it took to leave the person who was abusing you. Many people don't have that kind of courage to do something like that, so you need to be proud of yourself. No matter what anyone says or thinks, it's important that you know what it took to leave this person, and you had that in you.

Understand your strength. Not only are you strong for leaving, you were strong for staying as long as you did. Don't tell yourself that you are stupid for staying for so long, tell yourself that you are strong for staying as long as you did and that you are strong for getting out before something really bad happened to you.

You'll be happier now. Get a pen and paper and write down all of the reasons why it is you left this person in the first place, and keep this somewhere safe. This way whenever you feel yourself getting really depressed because you miss this person, you can get out the list and see why it is you are no longer with this person.

It's best to write down general reasons why you left this person, don't write down things this person has said to you or things they have done to you. You don't need reminder of these things since you probably think about them a lot, so you don't need to read about them. This will only cause you more pain.

You learned a good lesson, actually, a few good lessons. Being in a relationship like that can teach you a lot of things. It can teach you when you should leave future relationships, it probably taught you a lot about yourself and who you really are and how much you can take and handle in life. You've learned what you do and don't deserve. Again, you should write these things down so you can always have them to look back on.

Don't rush into a relationship. It's best to never rush into anything, especially after you've gotten out of an abusive relationship. Running to someone else won't solve your problems. You need to learn how to live on your own and deal with these emotions by yourself before you can unleash them all on someone else.

Be careful about who you share your story with. Don't tell random strangers about your abusive relationship, and don't tell anyone you've only been dating for a short amount of time. Think about who you are telling, it's okay to tell your best friend and it's okay to talk to a close family member but you don't need to tell someone you've only been dating for a month and you don't need to tell someone that you just met online.

When you tell someone you've been dating for a short amount of time they may think that it's okay to do bad things to you since you stayed with someone for so long who did bad things to you. Keep it to yourself until you can really trust someone.

Stay with friends. If you live alone or with your parents and you don't want to be by yourself, then it's okay to stay with some friends for a while. There is nothing wrong with this, it will probably be good for you. Sitting alone and constantly thinking about everything will only hurt you. Get out with your friends and have some fun, you deserve it.

Seek professional help. Talking to a counselor or a therapist can't hurt. If you really are having a hard time learning to live life without this person, a counselor can help.

Don't put yourself down. It's very important that you don't look in the mirror and call yourself stupid, ugly, fat or any other thing that makes you feel bad about who you are. Look in the mirror and tell yourself that you are a great person and that you deserve someone who will treat you with kindess and respect, not someone who treats you like you're nothing.

If it helps, write down positive things that people have said about you and post them on your mirror so you can see how great you are everytime you look in the mirror.

Moving on after an abusive relationship is very difficult, but try to remember that now you have left, you are a much stronger person now after everything you have gone through.

 

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Kilde: http://voices.yahoo.com/moving-after-abusive-relationship-living-life-8490811.html

 

Beklager for at jeg ikke har oversatt teksten. Jeg orket ikke oversette. Håper det går greit at det står på engelsk. Spør meg om du lurer på noe, så skal jeg prøve å hjelpe så godt jeg kan. :) 

 

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stepbystep

stepbystep

25, Bergen

Jeg kommer til å blogge om livet, og veien opp igjen fra min tyngste motbakke sålangt i livet. Jeg vil også blogge om alt mulig annet som måtte falle meg inn :)

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